Fear the beef. That’s right, fear it.
Run for the hills when someone offers you a juicy steak. “No thanks,” you tell them, “I get my protein from beans and canned tuna.” Red meat will kill you.
Eggs? Only if they’re white as rice. Can’t get your cholesterol too high and get a heart attack, so you stick with multi-grain toast, egg whites, low-fat cheese, and orange juice for breakfast.
How about butter? Your eyes must be bleeding by now. “Butter clogs your arteries!” is the motto of the century. Why risk it when you can use vegetable oil? I mean, it’s from vegetables, so that makes it okay to ingest.
Steak. Eggs. Butter. These three demons contain not-so-holy compounds: saturated fat and cholesterol. They’re the reason why you can’t enjoy those yummy foods. It’s those godforsaken lipids that ruin everything. Ask any doctor in the country about consuming saturated fats and cholesterol, and he (or she) will set you straight. Shame on you for contemplating the destruction of your own health.
Rest assured, I’m sure you’ve been avoiding saturated fat and cholesterol like the plague. Go ahead, munch on your low-fat protein bar and wash it down with some skim milk. You’re only doing yourself a favor.
Oh, yeah, did I tell you how I’ll be eating all of those “fatty” foods and red meat? Scary, huh?
Since when did this…