About Crossfit – Part 4

The Debauchery Continues… Gag Orders and Ruling with an Iron Fist, Crossfit-Style

Time for another installment of “About Crossfit”. Last time, we covered Crossfit’s tendency to turn its participants into peeps who think they’re too cool for school. Today, we’ll look at how the masterminds of this movement will squash anyone who speaks out against them, no matter how legitimate their claims are.

Don’t You Dare Discuss Our Enemies

Crossfit runs numerous seminars that cover different topics and forms of training (for example, Olympic weightlifting and endurance running).  Some of these seminars would have (or still have) speakers with awesome knowledge and credentials – truly great sources of information to be honest. Over the past few years, these smart dudes have left or have been fired from Crossfit as speakers.

Robb Wolf – author of the Paleo Solution, nutrition expert, biochemist, and owner of NorCal Strength & Conditioning. Greg Everett – author of numerous Olympic-weightlifting-books, owner of Catalyst Athletics, and publisher of Performance Menu. Both Greg and Robb were part of a seminar called “the Black Box Summit” back in 2009. To sum up what happened, another big wig form Crossfit HQ named Dave Castro butt heads with Greg and Robb, with Dave acting like a child.

Greg and Robb cut their ties with Crossfit, and any talk of “the Black Box Summit”, as well as links to Greg’s and Robb’s websites, are forbidden on the Crossfit forums.

Mark Rippetoe – author of Starting Strength and Practical Programming, owner of Wichita Falls Athletic Club. This man is a genius, plain and simple. He had been running  barbell training seminar, up until he dissociates from Crossfit in 2009.

Discussion of what happened between Mark and HQ, or posting links to his website, are forbidden on the Crossfit forums.

So, no talk of anything that puts Crossfit in a negative light, or else. That’s quite a North Korean way of getting things done. Hey, in the Soviet Union, if you tried to speak out against the government, they would send men with guns to your house at night and make you disappear. Looks like Crossfit has been reading up on its history books.

Only if they were competent enough to understand that if they didn’t make these topics taboo, people would talk about it, get it out of their system, and it’d be history. By banning its discussion, you only fuel the desire to talk about it, forever burning the event in people’s minds as an example of a screw-up on the part of Crossfit.

More Examples of Curb Stomping

On IronGarm, a discussion titled “the couch thread” was started circa 2006 to discuss/criticize Crossfit’s penchant hard-on for Olympic lifts and their supposed carryover to athletics. This turned into the biggest and longest-lasting online thread dedicated to making a mockery of Crossfit. To date, it has over 1300 pages of posts, and is still very much alive and kicking.

Around 2009, it appeared that any links to Crossfit’s website or its forums found on the couch thread were redirected to various pornographic websites. Stay classy, Crossfit.

Curb Stomp.“Don’t you try doing that in my neighborhood. Put your mouth on the curb.” – Crossfit HQ

Sometime around 2012 or 2013, a Youtube channel called “Elgintensity” posted some videos that took some workout videos of people doing Crossfit, and threw hilarious commentary on top of it, poking fun at the people doing weird or dangerous stuff during their workouts. One of my favorite videos, and one of the most popular ones on the channel, was titled “How Dumbasses Do Pullups”.

Around April of this year, Elgintensity ceased uploading new videos and his old videos regarding Crossfit were deleted. He later put up a video discussing his channel’s shutdown – Crossfit was suing him over copyright infringement. Don’t get me wrong, this Youtuber was guilty of copyright infringement, but do you think the guys at Crossfit sued him for that reason? Something tells me they didn’t like him bad-mouthing their program and company, so they sued him on legitimate but unrelated grounds.

Here’s another example – just recently, a study was performed that found 9 out 54 its participants were injured while doing Crossfit. HQ decided to sue the publisher of that study. Okay, so that study was somewhat flawed and had a few holes in it. That’s reason enough to give out a public statement pointing out those flaws, while arguing your program’s safety and effectiveness. That didn’t matter – they just up and sued them!

I can see the trend – criticize Crossfit, and receive a court summons weeks or months later. The ball’s in your court now Kim Jung Un… I mean, Crossfit HQ.

“I’m a Rabid Libertarian” – Greg Glassman

So, we can easily agree that Crossfit is on a power-trip right now, shutting people down and silencing others, right? With that said, the founder of Crossfit, Greg Glassman, has said that he’s Libertarian.

My response: Greg, you may have voted for Ron Paul as a write-in during the 2012 presidential election, but your actions, as a someone who oversees an entire segment of the fitness community, say that you could be Vladimir Putin’s protege.

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